Originally published on March 2, 2012 on a previous blog.
The past six years have been exciting on many levels. Meghann and I moved to East Nashville, home to many a musician, artist, and a host of delicious local restaurants.
We traveled to Italy, Guatemala, and Amsterdam. I co-produced two jazz records. Mollie was born and numerous other great events and milestones.
Also, six years ago, I started my photography business. Early on, I only photographed places and things, intentionally bypassing people. The thought of photographing people intimidated me. I didn't know how to do it, and I didn't want to do it.
Luckily, that was a short-lived intimidation because today I can think of nothing more interesting to photograph than people. And I'm thrilled that I've been able to photograph all kinds of people from all walks of life in several countries. Crossing vast age groups, professions, and other democratic backgrounds, it's been quite fulfilling to look back at portraits from recent years. In the US – and I presume around the world – females comprise a vast majority of photography purchases made, and it's a safe assumption that nearly 90% of the people I photograph are females.
Grooms definitely factor into the equation plus the occasional male executive or actor, musician, or model, but they're the exception to the rule. In short, when considering my lovely wife, obviously a female, my beautiful daughter, my long list of female clients and even our dog Sundae, also a female, I live in a land of women, and I'm certainly okay with that.
Given that proportion, I've just discovered that this multifaceted and mysterious gender has distinct commonalities when it comes to her photographic wishes, insecurities, and reactions. From the professional model to the girl next door, I hear the same comments and concerns voiced by practically all of the women I've been fortunate to photograph, and it is from this perspective that I'd like to send this encouraging Open Letter to Eves, the much fairer gender than we Adams.
So to Eve's everywhere, with the utmost respect.
Femininity is the pinnacle of all creation. Ponder that for a moment. The Creator saved the very best for last, completing creation with Eve.
Your shape and figure are astounding and proof lies throughout art history (art that openly depicts curves), photographic history (remember those great photos from the 1940s and 1950s when “normal” was size 12), and the gazillion dollar intimate apparel industry celebrating the adornment of your form? Think about it. When was the last time you saw a Victor's secret store?
It's less about what you have or don't have and more about how you feel about it – or what you do with it.
Confidence is sexiest. I didn't say sexier I said “sexiest” … most sexy. As in, nothing is more sexy than confidence.
True beauty comes from within. So being on The Bachelor might seem like every man's dream – dozens of beautiful women vying for one man's affections. It really is difficult for a man to watch because most of those girls are flat out mean, conniving, bitchy, and unbearable. It's painful actually. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Embrace your post-20s years. There's more to come after age 29. So much more: More confidence, more joy, more fulfillment, more independence, more success, more challenges you've overcome, more richness. Fine wine ages slowly over time. I promise you'll prefer to relive your 30s much more than you think about reliving your 20s.
Hips are beautiful. Other curves are too. They’re part of what makes you a woman, and they're what make your jeans fit so well and therefore look good, right? Why yes – yes they are. Okay?
Runway models are essentially walking hangers Do you really want that kind of figure straight flat and winery they're selling clothes not a picture of ideal health and wellness
Aveeno girls are far more interesting and attractive than Playboy bunnies. Image link intentionally withheld.
Please please please look at your smile and the love between you and others in a photo before looking at your trouble area. As a photographer I attest that every type of Eve I photographed goes for the trouble area first. Every type, including the type that others aspire to.
If you think you don't look good in pictures that's likely why you end up not looking good in pictures. Remember the early statement about confidence.
Crow's feet are sexy. They’re laughter tracks signs of a happy life.
Everybody ages. Sun bunnies age even faster. Rock a fashionable hat and sunscreen. SPF = Such a Perfect Friend
Mona Lisa is quite homely by society’s beauty standards today. But that mystic smile and those mysterious eyes make up for it. And they've made her famous for centuries.
It's obvious who is more interesting to watch during a couple's dance. Admit it: even you ladies watch the female dancers more than the male dancers.
Everybody has issues – even people you think are “perfect.” This is the same person. On the left is a photo of her dolled up by a stylist both hair and makeup and heavily retouched. On the right is a clean face, no makeup, no hair, no nothing. All that differs is the presence of a stylist or four, retouching, and a confident presence of mind.
Every body has issues. This isn't a repeat statement. See the difference?
Worry ages you rapidly; smiles cause less wrinkles than frowns and scowls. Laugh, smile, radiate. If you're happy and you know it, tell your face.
Looking through several beauty boards on Pinterest, I see mostly superficial, cosmetic hair ideas and few internal joy and happiness ideas. Who's willing to step up and start reversing that trend?
When you've looked at vintage photos and wondered about those models’ tiny waists, remember that corsets and other shapewear were en vogue then. They're en vogue again. Now ask your man what he really thinks about those undergarments, and more importantly, what's inside them. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
And finally, pretty is everywhere, presence is everything. Read that again. Slowly. “Pretty is everywhere. Presence is everything.” Be yourself. You're the only one who can do that.
Respectfully,
One Adam, hopefully speaking for a world of others.
P.S. Can I get an amen fellas?